Weddings and Status

The number of guests at a wedding as well as the amount of money given and the sumptuousness of the banquet are measures of a family's social standing in Korea.

How many people come to the wedding and the amount of money received is very important to each family as well. For example, if the bride has fewer guests than the groom, it can be very humiliating for her family.

It is not unusual to receive invitations to attend the wedding of someone (or the relative of someone) one barely knows. This is especially true of people in certain categories or positions as it's not only the number of guests that matter, but also the 'quality'. Some families send out thousands of wedding invitations. A bank account number is sometimes included so that people, who can’t attend, can still send money.

Often, the decision of whether to attend is based on whether the couple, or their relatives, attended weddings or funerals in one’s own family — or might be expected to. Families keep records of how much they receive and from whom so that they can reciprocate. Failure to reciprocate (re money giving the same or more) can ruin a friendship and even, on occasion, a business relationship. Guests who attend out of concern that they might lose out on business contracts or promotions if they don’t, often just show up, give their gift envelope and quickly eat without even attending the actual ceremony or greeting/seeing the bride or groom.

It is generally the parents, who send out invitations, collect the cash and pay for the wedding, and by and large, more guests are there for the parents than for the couple getting married. These days, some young couples are opting for more intimate ceremonies, but they are still very much in the minority.

Weddings are big business. Every year, there are about 300,000+ weddings in Korea. Each couple spends between 15-20 million won on average on their wedding with those held in hotels ranging from 30-50 million won or more. Cash gifts help cover most, if not all, of these expenses. According to the Korean National Statistics Office, Koreans shelled out 8 trillion won, about 524,500 won per household, in cash gifts for weddings and funerals in 20008.

There have been attempts in the past to rein in the culture of extravagant wedding spending in Korea. In 19783, President Park Chung-hee tried to ban written invitations, flowers and gifts from weddings and funerals, in the belief that such customs were wasteful and detracted from his campaign to build and modernize the economy. During the economic crisis of the late 1990's, the government launched a campaign to reduce waste of food during weddings. But enforcements in both periods was sporadic and the population as a whole didn't embrace the policies. In 2000, when the rule preventing weddings from being held in 5-star hotels was lifted, the status game, especially as related to extravagant weddings, became even more intense.

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